DZ Sokol

Think Stereotypically, Act Individually

Happy Birthday to the USA… My father’s birthday is on July 4 (my mother’s on December 25).  Fred turns 80 today.

Bear, Len, Redman, and I played a couple of hours of 2-on-2 basketball the other day…  It was the old guys against the young guns.

Most of us realize that the O’bama administration does not understand wealth creation… In an article entitled “Why Stagflation is coming”, the authors share their thoughts on the prospects for economic recovery:

Both the money supply and federal spending have increased at breathtaking rates over the past year, unprecedented in peacetime. The policy decisions made by the Federal Reserve Board and Congress virtually assure we will enter a period of 1970s-like stagflation…

2009 federal outlays were $3,938 billion compared to $2,983 billion in fiscal 2008 - a 34 percent increase in one year. Federal spending has grown from 21 percent to 28.1 percent of gross domestic product in only one year. Only during the last three years of World War II has federal spending been a larger share of the economy…

An economic train wreck is coming. Its cause is simple and straightforward: the breathtakingly bad monetary and fiscal policy during the past six to nine months - in other words, too much money and too much federal spending.

More goodies from StrangeCosmos.  A quiz on some very simple topics:

1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: bread. If you said “toast”, then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, “bread”, go to question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk”. What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk”, please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as “Children’s World”.   If you said, “water” then proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks”, what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said “glass”, then go on to question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, Two of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in “no man’s land”?
Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors” then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour? Answer: One degree. If you said “360 degrees” or anything other than “one degree”, you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Dayton to Columbus. In Dayton, 17 people get on the bus. In Vandalia, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Springfield, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Plain City, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Dublin, 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Upper Arlington, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at downtown Columbus. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line!!!

I suppose that this is what they call self deprecating humor for Daytonians…

Hat tip to Teffan

Here’s a funny one from the Slickmeister

Have you ever heard the story about having a hammer, thus everything looks like a nail?

In a great article from Caroline Glick, she notes: “On September 28, 2001, the UN Security Council passed binding Resolution 1373… required UN member states to ‘deny safe haven to those who finance, plan, support, or commit terrorist acts or provide safe haven’ to those that do… In 1995, the US State Department acknowledged that Hamas fits the legal definition of a terrorist organization. Today, due to its policies toward Hamas, the Obama administration is in breach of both Resolution 1373 - that is, of international law - and of US domestic law barring the provision of support and financing to foreign terrorist organizations.”

I supposed we all expected the Grand Charlatan to be breaking laws…

I grabbed a snippet of the men’s bracket for the 2009 Wimbledon tournament in London.  As you can see Jesse Levine and Dudi Sela are both playing in the 3rd round (Andy Ram is still playing in Doubles).

This is a humorous summary of how products are marketed to women and me

58 sec

As you would likely expect, American Jews (76% of which voted for O’bama) are funding anti-Israel organizations.   The worst of these are the leftist Jewish “Federations” that are present in most major American cities.  They take charitable contributions from the general Jewish population who believe that they are contributing to the support of Israel and Jews around the world.  In reality, these Federations funnel money to organizations such “Adalah -Legal Center for Minority Arab Rights in Israel”, “Mossawa - Advocacy center for Arab citizens in Israel”.

We have found the enemy and he is us.

It was interesting to see the contrasting headline today:

Warren Buffet: There has been little progress over the past few months in the economic war being fought by the country. We haven’t got the economy moving yet.

Barney Frank: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac should relax mortgage lending rules…

I could swear that Barney and his cronies really believe that there is a spigot of money and all they have to do is tap to save the world.

Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods… Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. ‘Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane…’

At this point, Mummy cut him off and said, ‘Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.’

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, ‘I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the oil rigs…’

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut the f##k up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

Hat tip to Sparky

An enjoyable video that shows Remi Gaillard exhibiting great control over a soccer (football) ball…

5 min 30 sec

Have you ever wondered why the Liberals in America appear to find common cause with radical Islam?   For example, Leftists are typically pro-secular, pro-gay, and pro-feminist.  Meanwhile, Islamofacists are theocratic, homophobic, and misogynistic.  Basically, the views are polar opposites.

Marc Steyn offers the best explanation: “Both the secular Big Government progressives and the political Islam recoil from the concept of the citizen, of the free individual entrusted to operate within his own societal space, assume his responsibilities, and exploit his potential.”  Essentially their common belief in tyranny overrides their stark differences in background.

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is “an apple a day…”

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.”

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.

(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.”

“I played a ball machine once… he was f**king relentless!”

With help from StrangeCosmos:

1) A day without sunshine is like night.

2) He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

3) The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

4) What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

5) Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

6) Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggy” until you can find a rock.

I can’t believe that my wife, Michele R. Sokol, has put up with me for 25 years. 

Missy - Happy Anniversary!