From StrangeCosmos, an analysis of what the doctor tells you… and what he is really thinking:
“This should be taken care of right away.” — I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
“Welllllll, what have we here…?” — He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.
“Let me check your medical history.” — I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.
“We have some good news and some bad news.” — The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.
“Let me schedule you for some tests.” — I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
“I’d like to have my associate look at you.” — He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
“I’d like to prescribe a new drug.” — I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
“This may smart a little.” — Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
“This should fix you up.” — The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.
“I’d like to run some more tests.” — I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
“There is a lot of that going around.” — My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.