Archive for ◊ April, 2009 ◊

Watch Out for Those Deer
Thursday, April 30th, 2009 | Author:

Driving on the autobahn in Germany at 140mph in his BMW M650i convertible, the driver hit a deer. The driver stopped and wondered where did the deer go…..???

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 Oh, there it is…

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Hat tip to BMW-Owner Mike Belcher…

Category: Engineering  | Leave a Comment
O’bama’s Direction for the Country
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 | Author:

As I’ve previously stated, I don’t believe that O’bama has the faintest clue about the creation of wealth… Larry Kudlow summed it up best:

“Mr. Obama is moving the country away from democratic free-market capitalism and toward a big-government, command-and-control vision of our nation’s economy. What we are witnessing is a triumph of government bureaucrats over entrepreneurs, investors, and small businesses.”

Amen!

It appears that I’m on the losing end of that proposition…

Category: Politics  | Leave a Comment
Great Quotes about Beauty
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 | Author:

“Beauty is but skin deep, ugly lies the bone; Beauty dies and fades away, but ugly holds its own.” – Anonymous

“Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.” – Richard Armour

“There are no ugly women; there are only women who do not know how to look pretty.” – Antoine P. Berryer

“Looks are so deceptive that people should be done up like food packages with the ingredients clearly labeled.” – Helen Hudson

“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?” – Jean Kerr

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” – Hedy Lamarr

“The reason the all-American boy prefers beauty over brains is that the all-American boy can see better than he can think.” – Farrah Fawcett

Hat tip to StrangeCosmos

Category: Humor  | Leave a Comment
Is GM Finished?
Monday, April 27th, 2009 | Author:

Glancing at the Wall Street Journal today, I couldn’t avoid seeing these projections about the new ownership composition of General Motors:

US Government – 50%
United Auto Workers – 39%
Everyone Else – 11%

Can you imagine a company majority-owned by Government bureaucrats and the UAW?   It almost sounds like an Orwell novel…  I’ll bet you’re just rushing to go out and purchase a new Pontiac…  err Saturn…  I mean Hummer.  Never mind.

I can’t see this being a positive move for GM or the auto industry.

O’bama’s Cabinet and Tea Parties
Monday, April 27th, 2009 | Author:

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Category: Humor, Politics  | Leave a Comment
Pope Visits Alaska
Monday, April 27th, 2009 | Author:

This is a funny one from Mark Clower

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a ‘Vote for Obama’ hat and a ‘Save the Trees’ T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.

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As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers with ‘Go Sarah’ T-shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

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As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. ‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he told them. ‘I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.’

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies ‘Who was that guy?’ ‘It was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom…’

‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?

Category: Humor, Politics  | Leave a Comment
What Did it Say?
Sunday, April 26th, 2009 | Author:

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad calls Rush Limbaugh and tells him, “Rush, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole country, and on each house I saw a banner.”

“What did it say on the banners?” Rush asks.

Mahmoud replies, “UNITED STATES OF IRAN.”

Rush says, “You know, Mahmoud, I am really happy you called, because believe it or not, last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Tehran, and it was more beautiful than ever, and on each house flew an enormous banner.”

“What did it say on the banners?” Mahmoud asks.

Rush replies, “I don’t know. I can’t read Hebrew.”

Courtesy of the Slick

Category: Humor, Politics  | Leave a Comment
Animals with Long Memories
Saturday, April 25th, 2009 | Author:

Updated with Elephant Photo

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 June 22,  2008 – Believe me, this is worth the reading till the very end!

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University . On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.  He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teen-aged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage; climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

This is for all of my friends (and those of Joe Knecht) who send me those heart-warming stories.

Category: Business, Humor  | Leave a Comment
O’bama’s North Korea
Friday, April 24th, 2009 | Author:

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Category: Humor, Politics  | Leave a Comment
O’bama’s Foreign Policy
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009 | Author:

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Category: Humor, Politics  | Leave a Comment