Archive for ◊ May, 2013 ◊

The Jewish Tie Salesman
Friday, May 31st, 2013 | Author:

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack – selling ties.

The Taliban terrorist asked, “Do you have water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted hysterically, “Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment – I spit on your ties. I need water!”

“Sorry, I have none – just ties – pure silk – and only $5.”

“Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but…I must conserve my energy and find water!”

“Okay,” said the little old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need…Go In Peace!”

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, “They won’t let me in without a tie!”

Hat tip to Millie

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Barack Obama Wins Communist Party Endorsement
Thursday, May 30th, 2013 | Author:

In case you missed this: Barack Obama Wins Coveted Communist Party Endorsement.

 

Category: Politics  | Leave a Comment
US Presidents and Honesty
Wednesday, May 29th, 2013 | Author:

Do all US Presidents tell the truth?

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Did You Know…
Tuesday, May 28th, 2013 | Author:

If coloring weren’t added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

Category: Business  | Leave a Comment
Mother Humor
Monday, May 27th, 2013 | Author:

Q : Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A : It’s called, “Debbie Does Dishes.”

Q : Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A : They never let anyone finish a sentence.

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ( Sigh ) “Don’t bother. I’ll sit in the dark. I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.”

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Ambition
Sunday, May 26th, 2013 | Author:

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain

Category: General  | Leave a Comment
Brain Mapping Obama
Saturday, May 25th, 2013 | Author:

They did some mapping of Obama’s brain and discovered the following:

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Optimists and Lions International
Thursday, May 23rd, 2013 | Author:

Two good old boys from Louisiana are drinking in a small bar in Baton Rouge.

Homer says, “Did you know that Lions have sex 5 to 6 times a night.”

“Ah, shit,”, replied Bob, “and I just joined the damned Kiwanis.”

Hat tip to Slick…

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Obama and Ohio State
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 | Author:

It’s rather ironic that Obama was speaking at Ohio State University prior to all of these current scandals…  the gist of his speech was ‘you have no reason not to trust big government’.

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Bad News About Grandma
Tuesday, May 21st, 2013 | Author:

An elderly woman had a massive stroke and her family drove her to the emergency room.

After an hour, the ER doctor appeared and with a long face and announced, “I’m afraid grandma is brain-dead, but her heart is still beating”

Her husband cried, “Oh dear god!  We’ve never had a liberal in the family!”

 

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