What happens if you go on a survival course – and you don’t pass?
Archive for ◊ February, 2014 ◊
More modern humor from Joe K…
A man received the following text from his neighbor:
I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you’re not around. In fact, more than you have. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few minutes later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”.
Will I Live to see 90?
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past sixty-five).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking her, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 90?’
She asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?’
‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’
Then she asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’
‘I said, ‘Not much. My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’
‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’
‘No, I don’t,’ I said.
She asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’
‘No,’ I said.
She looked at me and said, ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?’
Good humor from Joe K
It’s been an interesting last five days for sports — I’ve played tennis twice, attended two basketball games (Dayton Flyers, Wright State Raiders), and attended two hockey games (Miami Redskins, Dayton Demonz).