A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a prostitute who looks at her watch.
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don’t require as much cooking.
A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.
I don’t think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing. Until then we’re stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians.
A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.
Thanks to StrangeCosmos