1. Birds of a feather flock together . . . and then poop on your car.
2. A penny saved is a government oversight.
3. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
4. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
5. He who hesitates is probably right.
6. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
7. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
8. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he ‘s really in trouble..
9. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘ The ‘ and ‘ IRS ‘ together it spells ‘ THEIRS… ‘
10. Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.