Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, coworker or significant other!
Women will understand this. Men should memorize it!
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SAFER |
SAFEST |
ULTRA SAFE |
What’s for dinner? |
Can I help you with dinner? |
Where would you like to go for dinner? |
Here, have some wine. |
Are you wearing that? |
Wow, you sure look good in brown! |
WOW! Look at you! |
Here, have some wine |
What are you so worked up about? |
Could we be overreacting? |
Here’s my paycheck. |
Here, have some wine. |
Should you be eating that? |
You know, there are a lot of apples left. |
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? |
Here, have some wine. |
What did you DO all day? |
I hope you didn’t over-do it today.. |
I’ve always loved you in that robe! |
Here, have some wine . |
Thirteen things that the acronym PMS stands for:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
… and my favorite one:
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Hat tip to the Slickmeister — the purveyor of PMS humor (Wait till I tell Linda)