- A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
- I don’t eat anything that a dog won’t eat. Like sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He just sniffs it and says, “I don’t think so.” And this is an animal that licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants.
- Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don’t require as much cooking.
- Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.
- It’s so beautifully arranged on the plate – you know someone’s fingers have been all over it.
THINK STEREOTYPICALLY, ACT INDIVIDUALLY