A Great Comedian

Bob Hope was a great comedian that was in his hay-day during my youth. I most remember him from his USO tours for the troops in Viet Nam (For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your parents).

This is a small tribute to a man who made a difference (And “thanks for the memories”).  Some of his comments on his life:

1) On turning 70 – ‘You still chase women, but only downhill’.
2) On turning 80 – ‘That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.’
3) On turning 90 – ‘You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.’
4) On turning 100 – ‘I don’t feel old. In fact. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.’
5) On giving up his early career, boxing – ‘I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.’
6) On never winning an Oscar – ‘Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover’.’
7) On golf – ‘Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.’
8 ) On Presidents – ‘ I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only 6.’
9) On why he show show biz – ‘When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.’
10) On receiving the Congressional Medal – ‘I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.’
11) On his family’s early poverty – ‘Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.’
12) On his six brothers – ‘That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.’
13) On his early failures – ‘I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.’
14) On going to heaven – ‘I’ve done benefits for all religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter …on a technicality..’

Hat tip to slickmeister

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