A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief.”
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Thanks to StrangeCosmos