What They Say… and What They Really Mean

From StrangeCosmos, an analysis of what the doctor tells you… and what he is really thinking:

“This should be taken care of right away.” — I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

“Welllllll, what have we here…?” — He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.

“Let me check your medical history.” — I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.

“We have some good news and some bad news.” — The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.

“Let me schedule you for some tests.” — I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

“I’d like to have my associate look at you.” — He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.

“I’d like to prescribe a new drug.” — I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

“This may smart a little.” — Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

“This should fix you up.” — The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

“I’d like to run some more tests.” — I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

“There is a lot of that going around.” — My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.


  1. …don’t you believe that… Richy is an awesome doctor. I’ll always remember doing rounds with him at Einstein hospital in Philadelphia.

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